How Do I Grow My Relationship with God?

God’s design is for us to grow and flourish in Him, and Jesus makes a promise to us as His followers: Of course, some would say, “Why does it matter? As long as you're doing the behavior (serving), it doesn’t matter. The most important thing is the serving itself, not the motivation.”

“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.” (New American Standard Bible, 1995, John 15:5-8)

Yesterday, I was walking the property of our newest campus and admiring how many oak trees are growing on it. It’s like an orchard of oak trees! I found myself praying that this would be a symbol of what was to come, an orchard of oaks of righteousness! Wanting to capture the moment, I took one of the oak leaves off the tree and put it in the front pocket of my hoodie.

On the way in this morning, I reached in there to get the oak leaf and noticed it had folded itself in a tight roll, like an oak leaf roll-up. It was also getting hard and the color darkening. It stood out to me that this oak leaf, in less than 24 hours, had dried and shriveled and deformed and discolored so much!

How do we grow?
We have to abide.

If we abide, we remain in the vine, the nutrients will flow and the vitality and life will be there. However, even a single day of disconnect shows just how dependent we are. We need to abide continually.

So, how do we do this? How do we remain connected? How do we tap into the source of God’s grace flowing into and through our lives?

You probably know some of the critical graces for growth God has given:

The Bible
Prayer
The Gathering
The Body of Christ

Each of these are means He has made so that we can connect with Him and remain in Him. And yet, experience alone would tell us, that with each of these means of grace, it’s quite possible to go and not grow. It’s quite possible to do these things and not be transformed in the doing of these things.

Afterall, how much dead religion do we see everywhere? The motions, the actions, the activities, the words are all there, but dead, dry, no life, having a form of godliness but denying its power! Most of Christendom in America is this and how easy for us to become this!

You can go and not grow.

There is a difference between going and growing.

Going through the Bible in a year does not guarantee growth.

Going to a prayer meeting does not guarantee growth.

Going to the gathering (or service) does not guarantee growth.

Going to a meeting for community with the Body of Christ does not guarantee growth.

All these are essential graces for growth but do not guarantee growth.

Does that truth make all of these things irrelevant? Of course not!

The question is NOT going or growing.

The question is, “How do we grow as we go?”

So much could be said about this, but Jesus tells us the key to abiding is obeying.

What gets in the way of growth more than anything? The assumption that I already am obeying, that there is nothing in this message, this meeting or this passage that calls for me to do something differently as a result.

In 1 Samuel 16, at the start of the chapter, God needs to correct and redirect His prophet, Samuel, who is still grieving over Saul, the former king who God had rejected by this time.

God sends Samuel to Bethlehem to anoint the new king that He has chosen, and when Samuel arrives, what happens?

“When they entered, he looked at Eliab and thought, 'Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him.' But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (New American Standard Bible, 1995, 1 Sam. 16:6-7)

On the surface, we certainly understand – and can apply – an important principle that God is laying out here: “Don’t decide by our eyes.”

But, when we read God’s correction in context, we understand there is more to this verse that meets the eye. There is a major growth principle here.

To get to it, we have to go back and reread about Saul, the first king of Israel and his selection.

“Now there was a man of Benjamin whose name was Kish the son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Becorath, the son of Aphiah, the son of a Benjamite, a mighty man of valor. 2 He had a son whose name was Saul, a choice and handsome man, and there was not a more handsome person than he among the sons of Israel; from his shoulders and up he was taller than any of the people.” (New American Standard Bible, 1995, 1 Sam. 9:1-2)

Do you see the significance?

The significance is in the similarity of the reasoning for the selection of the king. Basically, what we see in 1 Samuel 16 is that Samuel is still looking for the same thing as the previous king.

Samuel hadn’t reflected and applied learning from the previous incident. He never crystallized the learning, “These characteristics (i.e. looks, stature, etc.) do not serve as qualifications to be king”...so he was still looking for the same thing.

How often do we do the same?

Growth is growth. It’s not staying the same. It’s not maintaining. Growth is growth. It’s doing something new, something different than what I did yesterday.

So, when I read the Word, if I do not crystallize something different to DO I won’t grow as I go. I must end by saying, “What will I do differently? How will I think differently? What must I change in my speaking?” Without the crystallizing of a learning, we become the one who did go but did not grow.

When listening to the preaching of the Word, I must end with those same questions. “God, what can I do differently as a result of what I just heard?”

When I got something wrong, made a mistake, got an outcome that wasn’t unexpected, I must stop and reflect and ask, “God, how can I grow in discernment, in wisdom so that I don’t make that same mistake again?”

Crystallizing learnings is what a wise person does. When you read the Psalms, you are reading a man with the grace of wisdom who has spent day after day observing and crystallizing, observing and crystallizing, observing and crystallizing. If we do this, not just crystallizing learnings but doing differently as a result of them, we will not just go, but also grow!

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